I am taking a sociology class where I need to interview 7 single male parents and 7 single female parents. If you could please answer these questions honestly so I can write my paper that would be great! Ofcourse everyone will be anonymous! But I do need 7 of both men and women that are single parents for a total of 14 people.
1. What are the 5 most difficult problems that you face as a single parent?
2. What are the 5 achievements that you are most proud of as a single parent?
3. What 3 ways could society/goverment assist you in fulfilling your obligations as a single parent?
Thank you so much, this will be a great help!!!
Single Parents only please...both male and female for a sociology project?
1. The 5 most difficult problems I face as a single mom are the following:
~social stigma and adult relationships - I struggle with feelings of isolation and alienation every day.
~task overload - I am a mother, but I am also a student, an intern, and an employee. I also feel a strong family and community responsibility, so spend a great deal of time and energy particularly with my grandmothers and at my daughter's school. I run ragged because I feel responsible for everything yet have little support myself. Sometimes I forget that I am human, that I can't, nor do I need to, do it all, all the time.
~staying strong and providing for the emotional, physical, intellectual, and spiritual needs of my daughter. Rarely, but occasionally, I experience a little break-down of sorts. I recognize that my daughter is at the threshold of adolescence and has some intense and immediate needs, but sometimes I am absolutely "fried" due to my schedule and my own lack of support and assistance, and I find myself unable to meet her needs. I may respond to her in a short-tempered way that is not reflective of what is actually in my heart. I am always mindful that I am the only one accountable to her on all levels, and I sometimes feel overwhelmed by the magnitude of that responsibility and the influence I have on her. I often feel guilty about what my schedule is doing to her. I can't wait to finish this semester, so I can drop all the school and internship responsibilities and focus only on mothering and working.
~budgeting - single parenting requires hard work and creative budgeting. If I think too much about this one, I'll get really depressed, so I'll leave it at that.
~child care - finding affordable, trustworthy caretakers for my daughter has been a challenge since she was born. I solved that problem for her first 5 years by getting certified and becoming a child care and preschool teacher. She was often in my classroom, so basically, I got paid (not much) and still managed to avoid someone else raising her. As she's grown, though, it's become more difficult to patchwork her care during my hectic schedule, to get to know and trust her friends' parents and accept incongruencies in family values if, for instance, she was to go home from school with one of them.
2. I am so proud of my daughter. She is brilliant, insightful, hilarious, thoughtful, and is stunningly beautiful. I can't take all the credit, but I have worked so hard enriching her environment, and in light of our scarce resources, she is an absolute miracle! She excels in school, is part of the Gifted %26amp; Talented program, plays the clarinet, writes the most wonderful poems, stories, and reports. She has earned the Presidential Fitness Award 2 years in a row (and probably will this year, too), and has set school records for pull-ups and the flexed-arm hang. Not to mention she runs a fast mile! She's just amazing! She's good with small children and animals, and cares about the environment. The only thing this girl doesn't do is keep a clean room. ;-) Honestly, though, that is easily forgivable when I think of all she does and the light she emits.
I am hesitant to say it, but I'd really like to be proud of myself. Like I've said, I have worked so hard to balance home, work, and school so that I could achieve my goals of being a caring mother, available and accessible to my child at all times, of earning my BSW (and eventually my MSW), of earning a position in which I can do more good work for our community, and of moving us from a small apartment to a house. Now, I have not achieved all of those goals yet, but I am so close I can taste it. Honestly, I'm frustrated that I'm not there yet, but I feel like I ought to be proud for being where I am. I've sacrificed a lot along the way, in terms of school and higher-earning jobs because our family comes first. In the end, I believe that's what matters - that I was able to meet nearly all of my daughter's needs as they arose, rather than treating her like a nuisance, an accessory, or an afterthought.
3. First, society could let go of the stereotypes about single mothers and children raised by single mothers. I am still surprised sometimes by the assumptions people make about single parents and their children - like we're all lazy and on welfare and our children are all, or will become, delinquents. I also think child care is a significant barrier for many parents, not just single ones. Quality care is a commodity, really hard to find and even harder to afford, especially for our youngest (and most vulnerable) children. Along those lines, public education is in need of some major reform. Between budgeting crises and faculty/staff shortcomings, it's a wonder our schools generate any positive outcomes at all! For the most part, our society and this country's leadership is horribly short-sighted and has its priorities way out-of-whack. While I recognize the importance of national security, the only way the U.S. will blaze a trail successfully into the future is through education and health. Sadly, those are two of the most dysfunctional systems in this country.
P.S. I think it'd be wonderful if the "race to the bottom" was stopped dead in its tracks. I am so sick of hearing about U.S. workers being put out of work because labor can be purchased cheaper elsewhere in the world. This disposal and invalidation of American labor paired with the exploitation of countries south of our borders or in Asia make me absolutely sick to my stomach. US companies must realize that the boost their bottom line sees as a result of exporting labor may help them and their shareholders, but it really hurts us as a nation. I suppose we'll learn that lesson too late, too.
Reply:1) not enough quality time with kids. money. playing both "bad cop-good cop. no sharing of responsibilities. cant think of a 5th.
2) all 4 have turned out with manners, morals, compassion and are self confident , self sufficient and honest human beings.
3) stay off my butt when i say no thankyou to foodstamps, healthcare, nosey do-gooder social workers who tell me how to raise my children before they have any of their own.
assist me by not assisting me.
Reply:1. Being stereotyped as never been married when no one knows my situation and why I am a single parent; Being financially unstable; Finding childcare while I work; Unable to obtain support; just doing everything on my own.
2. I am able to let my child know anything is possible; encourage and show my child never to give up and to strive for perfection; when in doubt prove others wrong; believe in yourself because only you can make the person you want to be; be consistent and never give up.
3. provide more after school programs/activities for single parent children, support groups, health care
Reply:Top five problems:
Quality day care so I can go to work and earn enough to survive without child support from the father. My son is only 4 yrs. old so he has day care and half a day of early childhood school.
Work schedule conflicts with needs of my child. Nobody to play back up when the father isn't active in the child's life. I have two jobs.
When my child is ill and can't attend school, I alone must give up my sick leave and personal days which are limited: so I have to debate each time if I have enough days left in my contract to stay home and be with my child. If father was helping we could split days and not exhaust my contract allowances.
Discipline is hard when you are an only parent. You get tired of being the "bad guy" and not having someone else share the responsibilities.
If I have a "bad day" and don't feel like doing all the tasks associated with parenthood ( i.e. going to the playground, running back and forth to school and day care, etc. ) I feel guilty. I want to be a good parent buy I get tired and overwhelmed some times and I hate to think of my child suffering or going without because of this. I don't even date right now because I don't want to take the time away from him. I have such little free time.
Proud achievements:
I do it without financial help from anyone. I work hard and I earn every dollar I have. I feel self sufficient and empowered by my ability to care for myself and my child.
I can take personal pride in his achievements because I am the main source of his knowledge and develop his character. I count on his school to enforce this.
My son is healthy and happy and I do my best to keep it that way.
I am proud to have someone who thinks I am the greatest. He loves me and I never have to doubt that. We never can trust why adult behave the way they do, but a child is still innocent and can give love in return without odd motives.
When he laughs or does something great, I get to acknowledge it first hand and share in his joy.
Help from society/government:
I don't think the government should do anything particular other than provide the best public education possible. I don't think people should be parents if they require the government to finance the deal. If a woman can't afford to raise a child, she should practice birth control and not produce them. Young women often find themselve pregnant and continue to get pregnant when they can't raise their children without financial aide, I don't get this!
I think society needs to understand that women tend to be the primary care giver when a family breaks apart. My husband and I divorced when our son was only 1 year old. More flexibility at work and corporate sponsored/on the job site daycare would be nice.
I do think the state government should be as proactive as possible and work closely with the Federal Gov't to track down dead beat dads and get more father to support their children financially. I'm lucky because I manage my finances well and get by without the child support, but other women aren't as lucky and raising children can be very expensive.
Reply:1. What are the 5 most difficult problems that you face as a single parent?
1. The dedication of time to the young person I was raising.
2. Being available to respond and be there when needed.
3. Being able to interprete and respond correctly for the most positive outcome in most situations.
4. Succeeding in the transferrence of knowledge that transcends into that person learning and succeeding also.
5. Realizing how my behavior effects my little one and focusing the love into that person.
2. What are the 5 achievements that you are most proud of as a single parent?
1. Have the most neetest and loved and beautiful child ever.
2. Realize how much I am love and cared for by that child now an adult.
3. Reuniting the family, father, mother and daughter after a devastating separation due to war and other related violence.
4. Watch my child win the science award knowing that I was behind and influencial in the transferrence of the proper attitudes that made it posible.
5. Managing to pre-educate and maintain ahead a struggling young person in the face of tipification ethics that would have managed to turn that young person into a slug crawling on the ground so slow but, up to pace with the others in her class.
3. What 3 ways could society/goverment assist you in fulfilling your obligations as a single parent?
1. Actually the three ways are not up to society or government in that I consider them to already be doing the most they can to insure and assist me with the obligations I have chosen to participate with.
2. I can think of no more than what they are already doing and perhaps maybe possibly help me mainting a responsible and effective control over reality.
3. There is so much the government can help but since I think they are already doing so it is up to me to carry the ball to the goal.
Reply:single mom:
tierdness, especially when she was younger.
isolation, lack of resources to socialize and couples with children tend not to mix.
stigma, society likes to label single parents as the cause of all things bad.
finding secure housing, we were homeless once.
having to explain to my child how her father is....he pays nothing, wants nothing, cares nothing.... keeping her secure
she is growing (now a teen) into a mature, clever, emotionally stable beautiful individual
managing to educate myself part time whilst she was at school to get a degree and more
managing to keep us warm and fed, safe and secure.
Our family is small but full of love
Even thou we are single parent household, we have achieved so much more than media sterotypes of the single parent household.
A child support system that worked. Never recieved a penny from them, only endless promises.
recognize that single parents are not the cause of all society ills.
Flexible working hours, help with school holiday childcare.
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