Why so hard on single mothers?

I am not sure why so many people believe the stereotypes about single moms. Anyone know? I am the organizer of two local single parents groups, and I can say the following stats are the approx. make-up of both my groups (I have a total of 84 members between the 2 groups):


So what's the "average" single parent really like? According to the U.S. Census Bureau...





She is a Mother:


83.1% of custodial parents are mothers


16.9% of custodial parents are fathers





She is Divorced or Separated:





Of the mothers who are custodial parents:


45.9% are currently divorced or separated


30.5% have never been married


21.8% are married (In most cases, these numbers represent women who have remarried.)


1.7% were widowed





Of the fathers who are custodial parents:


56.4% are divorced or separated


23.1% are currently married (In most cases, these numbers represent men who have remarried.)


19.7% have never married


0.8% were widowed





She is Employed:


80% of custodial single mothers are gainfully employed


50.5% work full time, year round


29.6% work part-time or part-year


89.8% of custodial single fathers are gainfully employed


70.6% work full time, year round


19.2% work part-time or part-year





She and Her Children Do Not Live in Poverty:


26.1% of custodial single mothers and their children live in poverty


13.4% of custodial single fathers and their children live in poverty





She Does Not Receive Public Assistance:


30.3% of all single parents receive public assistance


Only 8.4% of single parents receive TANF (Temporary Assistance for Needy Families)





She is 40 Years Old or Older:


36.8% of custodial mothers are 40 years old or older





She is Raising One Child:


55.6% of custodial mothers are raising one child


44.4% have two or more children living with them








http://singleparents....

Why so hard on single mothers?
My problem is the lack of concern/selfishness. Its certainly possible for single mothers to raise a great kid. Why would one intentionally do this though? I guees I'm old fashion but I think having a male role model is a good thing(assuming he is worthy). When I grew up having a kid out of wedlock was called a bastard. Curious if you had grandparents??? I know things happen but...what happened to responsibility??? I don't care for my hard earned taxes going to pay for your(not all single moms) sexual mistakes. Get some birth control.
Reply:Perhaps some people have a negative view of single mothers because they have had a negative personal experience. As the saying goes, "one bad apple spoils the bunch." A person might know 15 middle aged single mothers with one child and one single mother on welfare with four kids by three days. Which one is most likely to stick out in their memory?
Reply:sorry too long to read...kinda looks like you just copied and pasted most of your question
Reply:Why because if you haven't noticed still in 2008,in the age of technology, we still blame women for being rape.....We ask them questions and ask them what they were doing and what kind of clothes they were wearing...So that being said, still in this day and age we blame the women for going to bed and not being protected. Still we blame women for not being able to say NO when a guy is insisting on having sex. Why because still to this day, girls are being raised being told to be nice, to to say anything offensive, to use their looks not their brains. Still mothers make their daughters do the dishes and clean their bedrooms , while they let the brothers go off to play video games. That's why. The society mostly women are the ones raising women who have no self esteem...


So if you want to know why, look at mothers who take sides..


That's why.
Reply:i understand but yes most guys dont wantto date women wit hkids. i personally dont care because if they are a good mother and are a good person i will be a good man to her and do my best to be there for her and her kids. we guys arent all shallow
Reply:So, if there's so many single mother's out there, where are they? Why don't I meet any of them?
Reply:I've found out some things today, that really upset me. I'm glad I am no longer a single mother. They're having a harder time than ever.


A friend has just got divorced, with a private agreement. Before the ink was even dry on the paper, her ex moved in with his new partner and her two children. He has now applied to the CSA for a reduction of maintenance. They've only been divorced a couple of months. And he's got it, private agreement has been thrown out the window. Also, because the new ex has got two children, the child support has been reduced. The new partner's salary hasn't even been taken into account, even though she works and her former husband pays maintenance.


So her kids receive the benefit of three salaries, while my friend is now really struggling. All the kids had activities - guess who can no longer afford the music lessons, etc etc?


This whole lot stinks. It is outrageous.


The csa is geared towards mothers on benefits. But try beiing independent and managing your own way. There's no help or support.


PS The future MRs - actually, many of us had no choice in the decision. I certainly didn't, nor did my friend. And very few of the divorcees I know, did, although I accept that there is one who chose that path.
Reply:I have nothing against single RESPONSIBLE mothers who were married and are now alone. I just cannot understand all these young kids who sleep around, get themselves pregnant and then expect sympathy and to be kept by tax payers. Many will think I am behind the times, maybe I am, but I would rather be the way I am than have no moral standards, which is the problem with youngsters today. What is to stop in-breeding from happening with all these young girls having babies and no idea WHO the father is? There are far reaching consequences here and they need to be addressed.
Reply:What sterotypes? Sterotype that single moms work hard? Or that single moms just sit there and take up welfare money? I've heard both types.
Reply:It's all the prudish "Christian" conservatives who stick their noses in the air to any one who did anything "unconventional". They're the ones who sit around all day in their high-waisted pants judging the world around them and shaking their heads at how every one else has "no values or morals." They love to boast about how long they've been married, what church they go to, and how many gold stars their children have received at bible camp. Meanwhile their husbands are porking prostitutes behind their backs.....
Reply:Not surprising to me. That was my mother too.
Reply:Thanks for the great information, and you're right people love to believe the stereotypes about single mothers, Single mothers are the strongest people in the world, although I am not a single mother, I have friends/ family members that are, and I watch them in amazement is hard to raise children with a spouse, so I can only imagine, I will stand and give all single parents man/women a standing Ovation! (and a star)
Reply:You forgot a couple of statistics......





What are the number of single mothers who had unplanned pregnancies prior to having a husband or committed partner? How about the number of single mothers who secretly planned a pregnancy without the involvement or knowledge of their partner, thus trapping them into child support?





The aforementioned single mothers deserve all the harshness they get.
Reply:It' hard to raise children %26amp; alot of 2 parents homes still have problems if they have to work alot they still might not have much time for themselves %26amp; their kids. I'm not sure what your questions is. If you are saying people treat single mothers poorly then that might just be that they feel left out when married mothers are busy too so they really can't help out someone cause they are single. also a married mother might be staying in a marriage even if she isn't happy %26amp; might resent someone who divorced %26amp; goes out on dates etc.
Reply:Ok I am a divorcee so I get the whole being divorced thing, I have no children though. I have sisters and friends who are either currently single mothers or have been in the past.





Here is the deal-


1.7% of single moms did not choose to be single moms (the widows).





The rest on some level did. Sometimes divorces are necessary. Sadly those times continue to increase. I believe that most divorces are frivolous and if one or both spouses would stop being so dang selfish the divorce would not occur. If parents started thinking about the well being of their children rather than the instant gratification of the parent, then there would not be so many divorces.





Single Moms whine about their life and their situation, yet they did not stop to think about that when they were making choices that affect their child's life.





Never married mom's were too concerned about getting laid to really think about the consequences and the affect it would have on their children.





The fact is that children do best in a home with their mother and father. They do even better when Mom is able to stay home and raise them.





I know this sounds harsh, but people like to make excuses. Instead of owning up to the poor choices they have made they sit around a whine about how hard their life is. You can't expect to put your hand on a red hot burner and not be burned- I am not sure why people think they can make poor choices and then not have consequenses.

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