Single fathers and dating?

I am a 30 yr old single father of 3 kids. I consider myself to be a good looking guy but more importantly extrememly responsible and moral. It just seems like when women find out that I have kids that live with me...no matter how good of a guy I am, they shy away.





How do women look at single fathers when out they are out dating?





Answers from woman and other single fathers would be appreciated

Single fathers and dating?
I think you may be looking in the wrong pool. There are many women with big hearts that would gladly accept a ready made family, LATER, after you and the right woman get to know each other.





I get the feeling that not all of the women are shying away because you have your kids living with you, but perhaps, you are giving off some vibes that are alerting the women that you may be moving a little too fast. Dating is dating but if you are giving off that you are looking for a wife/mom, that is a little scary for a young woman that you have just met. And there are some young women that just aren't ready to jump right into the role of mom before the first or second date.





You are a passionate person and I'm sure that comes out when you are talking about your children.... Perhaps, take it a little slower the next time you meet a woman.... mention that you have children and keep the conversation more tuned toward getting to know each other first and THEN getting to know your children.





Some women and men both go into dating presenting the whole package right off the get go with a 'take it or leave it' attitude and that is what I believe the problem starts with. I know because after my first divorce, I had that attitude and I too thought that men shied away from me because I was a single mom and they didn't want somebody else's kids. I didn't give the guys a chance to get to know me first before I was already projecting fatherhood on them.





Sometimes, the best things come when you stop desperately searching. And still I almost made the same mistake I always did... projecting my expectations of a father for my kids. I slowed down and got to know the man as a friend. At first, I didn't even expect our friendship to go forward. He was just somebody that I could talk to, have fun with and could share a laugh. We didn't introduce our kids to each other for a couple of years even though we knew we both had kids. When I stopped looking for a husband/father and opened myself up to a friend.... that is when I found the husband/father that I had been looking for.





Both having children can be another source for future problems but we can discuss that later if you find that you are dating a young single mother........





Right now, I'd say for you to look for a female friend... someone for YOU. Then when the relationship progresses you can add on the kids. Presenting the whole package right off the bat can scare anyone, even a young woman that would gladly accept your children as her own... just not yet. First she needs to figure out if she can accept you.





I hope this helps.
Reply:WOW!! Report It

Reply:What would your reaction be to a single mother of three? It is a very big long term responsibility.
Reply:For the same reason that some guys look at single mothers.


When you are with somebody it is hard to get to know them when they already have prior commitments, but any woman who truly likes you wouldn't have a problem with a man who has 3 kids, she would talk with you and find the real you, not just the father who is trying to get back in the dating pool.