Monday, April 12, 2010

Single mother enlisting in Air Force??

I want to contribute to the military. I have some skills that would be beneficial. I have issues with leaving my children for training and if I am deployed. Are there alot of single mothers in the service?? I feel I will be abandoning my children. Is it normal to feel this way or should I just not enlist??? I feel it is my duty to supply our needs now and for the future. If I am stationed in the states, how long will it be before I can bring them with me?? Is it difficult for a single mother to bring her children with her to live overseas?? I know in some countries I wont be able to.. Please help in this matter. I would like to know all of the details. If there are some single mothers that are in the military please respond...Thank you so much. Your response will be greatly appreciated.

Single mother enlisting in Air Force??
I am a single mother of three and in the military. I too wanted to do something for my country and struggled with the decision for well over two years before I joined. I didn't go active duty though. I joined the Air National Guard. I didn't "lose custody" in anyway. I just needed a care taker for my children while I was at BMT and Tech school and for anytime at which I am deployed. It is not an easy decision for anyone, but for me...I have no doubt I made the right choice. I have not only become a stronger better person, I have bettered all of our lives. Not only that, but my first deployment was to Germany...and my children came with me. We traveled all over Europe and had a blast!!! We would have never been able to do that otherwise. I too had a hard time with it at first....wondering if I was gone too much. But we(my daughters and I) were on vacation in London three days before subway bombings. WE WERE ON THAT SUBWAY!! I lost all my doubts that day! Realizing that someone wants to kill me and my family for no reason other than I am a Christian....I knew that serving my country and doing my best to stop all this is what I am HAPPY to do. But please keep in mind, there are other ways to help serve your country without joining the military. Support your troops overseas!!!
Reply:military is not geared for single mothers......nor single fathers

its tough for married families....

before you enlist you need to really spend some time speaking with military families. divorce rate is super highy.. family separations and such.

life can be good for military members and such but leaving family behind makes it a hard row to hoe...............and many can't cope...

and the children have a hard time also...
Reply:It will be difficult for you to leave your children during your training. It could be months or even up to a year. That would be including your Basic Training and AIT(Don't know what they call it in the A.F.?) But whatever job you will be doing you have to go to a school for it. How many kids do you have? You will have to sign over guardianship to a family member or friend while you are in training and if you get deployed. I know that alot of countries are now allowing family members. Korea used to not let you bring your families unless you were an officer, but they have changed in the past couple of years. Anyway if you get stationed in the states you can bring your kids to live with you. Its basically just like any other job you would do. Usually 8 to 5. Depending on what kind of job you get. I was in the U.S Army for 4 years. I didn't have kids, but alot of my friends did. They didn't have any problems. Like I said, its like any other job once you get to your permanant duty station. Best of luck in whatever you decide to do. If you have any q's feel free to e-mail me @
Reply:Don't enlist.

When you're in the military the military comes first, always.
Reply:when you enlist you will have to sign over parental rights to someone else...It can be done (being a single parent in the military) but think of your kids...they will be the ones you are leaving and the way things are today overseas don't expect not to get deployed. The military doesn't really care if you are a single parent or not...when you are called up to go then you go...think of all of the dual military families who have both parents deployed overseas at the same time
Reply:Yoyr children should come first. You WILL be deployed and may not return. Get a job and raise your kids and let the military alone!
Reply:Just don't do it...while I applaud your dedication to your country...your babies need you at home.

While I was active duty, my husband and I separated for about a year (the last year that I was in). I was in Hawaii and he came home to Cincinnati. I was myself...with my son. I still stood the same watches as everyone else...I still did everything that everyone else did. It was hard leaving my son with people that I did not know nearly as well as I should have. Granted they were wives of sailors...but people are people...and you can never be too sure. They even tried to get me to re-enlist...knowing that I was a single mother...and told me that if I were to go on a 6 month deployment I could always leave him with another service members family. I don't know about you...but there is no way in hell that I would leave my son with someone that I hardly knew for 6 months at a time.

THe military doesn't take into account whether or not you have children. To them you are a soldier...a sailor....a marine....or an airman. While some commands will help you if you are already in and there are extenuating general this in not the norm. You are there to complete a mission....what ever that mission may be.

The military is's an experience that I wouldn't trade for the world...but being a single mother in the miltitary is really going to hinder you in the long run. It's extremely hard to do all of the things that they want you to do in addition to your daily "duties" to advance.

I wish the best to you and in no way am I trying to bring you down. I just would hate for you to get into a situation that you may later regret.

Best of luck!
Reply:You must give someone else guardianship of your children while in the service unless you have a husband or someone to take care of the children if you were detained elsewhere. When overseas you must have 24 hour care for your children with you at all times Will they feel like you abandoned them well i guess that has a lot to do with how old they are and how well they understand why you are gone a lot.?
Reply:as a single parent you cannot enlist into any Branch of the Active services period. You may NOT give up custody for the sole purpose of enlisting, and you may NOT regain custody AT ALL during ypour first term of enlistment.

National Guard and Reserves may take you, with a Family Care plan in place.. but be aware that even they are deploying for 12 months at a time and you would need to find someone to take care of the kids for that entire time, and you cannot get out fo a deployment if your family care plan falls through.. you would be discharged and lose all benefits.
Reply:Have you check with a recuiter? I tried to join 7 years ago. I was unmarried but had a child and lived with his mother. They told me I had to be married because they have a "no single parent" policy. The recruiter told me the reason was from the first gulf war. When they called up reservist, there were a large number of single parents that said they could not go because they were single parents and nowhere to go with their kids.

If you want to serve your country in a military fashion...volunteer at a USO post or something like that. You can give your time and still be around your child(ren).
Reply:Single parents are ineligible for enlistment in the military. This includes all branches. Were you to give up custody of your children to enlist, you would have to sign a statement to the effect that you would not try to regain custody during your enlistment.

More info here:
Reply:As far as I know the Air Force does not take recruits with dependents. Try the Army.
Reply:Bad idea!
Reply:Please don't! If something happens to you, who will raise them?
Reply:I know there are people here who would tell you not to do it and that if you go to war you will die and leave your kids all alone. That is bull crap.

I know many single parents in the army. I did four years in the army and I have been to Iraq and back.

To answer your first question: yes there a alot of single mothers in the armed forces. No you will not be abandoing them if you join up. You most likely will be posted to the us. In some cases you get to choose your first duty station. As for over bringing them over seas, duty stations such as germany that allow you to do just that are hard to come by these days (in the army anyways). You can bring them as soon as you want. If you want on post housing you may have to go on a waiting list. In most cases your unit will allow you time to find a home off post to live. There will be times you may have to arrange for some child care, but you usually have plenty of notice. In the event of sudden deployment they have you set up something with your family to see that your babies are taken care of. The deployments we have these days are set up almost a year in advanced if not longer so you will know when you will be in and out of country.

Please take note this is what happens in the Army. As for the Airforce, they may have different set up for child care.

You can contact anyone of the branches and a trained recuriter will be more than happy to explain to you what the in's and out's of life in the force are.

Oh don't forget we have the reserves and national guards. They have their own reps too you know. Talking to an army recuiter isn't the same as talking to an army reserve recuiter. Options do very by the branch.

If you want to go into the armed forced by all means do so. There will be good days and bad day in the service but at the end of the day you will be able to go to sleep knowing you helped insure it will be a quite night.
Reply:Check with the recruiter. Being a single parent you may not be eligible for enlistment.
Reply:LMAO! What a joke.
Reply:My sister is a single mother in the Air Force. We both joined and had children but I'm out now. She loves it. She's been deployed to some places and couldn't take her son but I kept him for her. It was hard but that's the military life. There are so many family help programs in the Air Force. You are asking yourself questions a good mother asks so don't feel guilty. When you join, you can sign temp custody over to somone then after you are given an assignment (after training) you can get your kids back, that's how I've heard of it being done. You will have to have what's called a Family Care Plan. Meaning, you will have to find a civilian (friend/family member/any trusted nondeployable person) to take your kids incase you have to go somewhere they can't. They will tell you everything in a step by step. A lot of overseas assignments are family friendly. The places you would go that you probably won't take your kids are for short periods of time except Korea is a year. But you get a break to come home. Hope this helps. Good luck, I think you're making a good choice.

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1 comment:

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