Single moms can u help this stepmom out? have i over stepped my boundaries?

i have been married for 3 mons and my husband mark has a 9yr old son with his exwife.i have really pissed her off can u tell me what i should do?





1. i went to a parent/teacher conference with my husband.she got pissed as she feels i have no right to go as hes not my son.plus she feels she should be the one going with my husband not me.she had to go alone.





2.she gets pissed if mark has to work late and leaves thier son with me.if mark is not home thier son is to go home to her not stay with me.


these are just 2 things she has done but there are many more 2 many 2 list.


they have been divorced for over 5 yrs but she still seems to cling to mark(she is still single)single moms can u tell me why she hates me so much and gos out of her way to make my life difficult?as single moms what should i do?

Single moms can u help this stepmom out? have i over stepped my boundaries?
I kind of see her point. You should not be watching their son if Mark is not around. He should go to his mother. The son should (if possible) always be with either his mom, or dad. I do also agree you should not be taking part in parent/teacher conference. Mark and the boys mom should be their. Mark can give you a update after the fact.





I don't know the whole situation. Mark's ex could very well be still attached to him, but she is right with these two points. Just take a step back, let Mark and the boys mom participate together in everything involving the boy. The most important thing for everyone involved is that this boy sees his mom and dad as much as possible. If dad works late, he should be with his mom, If mom is busy, he should be with dad.





This situation kind of sucks for you. I usually don't encourage either single parents to remarry, or people to marry single parents, for this very reason. Not that you would, but don't ever step in between Mark and his son. Things will hopefully get better





Good Luck
Reply:You have not over stepped your boundaries. This woman is very intimidated by you, and rightfully so. Her ex-husband found something in you that he didn't see in her, and assuming your step-son likes you, you could take her son away as well.





Most women (sadly) are power hungry. I had a step-mom nearly my whole childhood. She was another parent to me. My mom hated it and hated her, however she didn't demand that I come home when Dad was gone. She understood that I had two families.





It's sad that this woman can't let the past go and just be happy with who she is now. It's probably eating her up inside. If their relationship is civil, you husband should try to put an end to this with a talk. Her hatred could spill over to your step-son. I'm sure he knows what's going on, and it's not fair for him to be stuck in the middle of adult issues. Maybe if your husband makes it more about their son and less about you or him, she may back down and see the negative things she is doing to him.





Another thought I have on this is that if my child had a step-parent, I would hope that the step-parent would WANT to be involved with his llife. If another adult is going to take part in raising my child (which is exactly what step-parents do, any adult who is around a child often has a hand in their raising) I would do my best to respect this person so to ensure she is nice and encouraging to my son.





Good luck
Reply:I have been on both ends of this...Yes, she feels threatened, but I feel it's her insecurity as a mother, I have two boys, my ex-husband has a girlfriend, I KNOW I would not like it if they called her "mom" but that would be their choice, I also am remarried and my boys call him Dad intermittantly, she needs to get over it and realize your place within a new extended family. My husband sat down alone with my ex-husband and had a heart to heart litterally to reassure him, if that's not an option, how about the 3 adults, still no, then a letter. In regards to the whole afterschool thing, I don't know what state your in, but in Florida, if the not custodial parent has the child for their specified or agreed upon time, they can choose any "babysittter" (not meaning that's what you are) or rather caretaker/guardian they like and the other parent cannot intervene unless it poses a threat to the welfare of the child. But that also goes both ways.
Reply:I don't think that you have over stepped your boundaries. Have you tried to sit down and talk to the mom? She sounds like she is still very attached to Mark. She should be happy that you care about the boy so much, and want to know what is going on with him.


I am in a different but similar situation. My ex's new wife hates me even though I try to get along with her. We have a son together and she hates me and him. She has given my ex 3 little girls. His mom says she doesn't like me because I gave him a son.


All you can do is keep trying to get along with her. Try sitting down with her and your husband to come to a compromise. The important thing is the boy and everyone needs to realize that.





Good luck

big teeth