Single parents in todays society face challenges that their parents or grandparents could never have thought of. The clothing fashions, the ever changing electronic devices.all the sexual inuendo on television and in movies is something the modern single parent has to deal with everyday. It is tough by any standards and its not made any easier by todays modern opinions in our society. Single parents face the additional task of being the missing parent to your own child. This must be handled with the determination and strength of character as we cannot allow ourselves to take the easy way out by permitting the children to conduct themselves in a reckless manner,being disrespectful,using profanity,etc. The way you raise your children will determine their future in a socially complex world by sticking to your values and teaching them right fom wrong for their own sake which is never easy on your own but in the long term it will be worth it or will it?
Single parents: The minority no one wants to fight for or do you?
I think that in former generations, society was less tolerant of single parents. I feel society is more tolerant today. Clothing fashions, electronic devices and the pressures they bring add more stress to both single and dual parents. I really do feel sorry for parents at Christmas time when they are bombarded with Television adverts and shop windows full of toys etc which are "must haves".
I can't really comment on the sexual inuendo aspect of your question as I rarely watch TV or go to the movies - I expect this emanates from our being a more liberal society - and with that "liberality" if I can call it that comes a more tolerant attitude to single parents.
Single parents have always faced the burdens of taking on the role of the missing parent. No easy task at all. You are absolutely right when you say you cannot allow yourself to take the easy way out. Obviously all parents whether single or otherwise if they are decent people want to do right by their child or children, teach them right from wrong, absorb your principles and values so that they grow up to be decent citizens in the community with good prospects in the future: people their parent(s) can be proud of.
I think that children should have two parents in the sense that each parent can re-inforce what the other says or does when a child goes wrong. As you quite rightly say this aspect is missing in a single parent family.
Yes to my mind it is worth the effort of sticking by your values and principles, hard though that task may seem. At the end of the day you will be a good role model for your child or children.
Society is a dynamic ever changing entity but no matter those it will not function unless most of its citizens are decent, respectful and honest to each and everyone in the society in which they live. That should be the aim of all parents in raising their children whether on a single or dual basis.
Thanks for the question and I hope the answer I've given will be of some use to you.
Take care.
Reply:I think it's more correct to assume that it is reflected at the parenting method, rather than the number of parents.
Every parent faces those issues.
Clothes-
Electronics-
sex-
TV-
Those issues are not more accessible to kids with one parent than anyone else with two parents.
I went through a "reckless, disrespectful" period . . . and I had two wonderful, educated, knowledgable, mature parents.
Single parents DO face a lot of issues that two-parent households might not face. You didn't really bring those up.
Being a single parent would be hard. I imagine it to be the toughest job out there. And even more so with the cost of daycare these days- it's as though some people are working just to pay for daycare- without a second income in the home I don't know how they manage.
But the challenges single parents face will of course be worth it in the long run. What a horrible question to ponder... "was raising your child worth it" alone or not, it shouldn't even be addressed.
If you're trying to gather info for a class or something, I suggest revising this paper to reflect issues that are adequately and solely faced by single parents, as in lack of support/help at home, financial issues, time managment, working to afford adequate childcare, etc.
And definately rephrase the "it will be worth it or will it" question. What would you do if you somehow got ahold of an old letter your parent wrote that mentioned raising you was not worth it... that'd be terrible. That's why people dont worry if its worth it or not, they do it knowing it's going to be worth it because that is what they have to do.
Reply:Your argument (as stated) applies to all parents - single or not. Or am I missing something?
Reply:You need cheering up ! !http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nUv_rYjS7... you do speak french xxb
Reply:All of the issues you mention are faced by all parents not just single parents.
The difference is that a lot of single parents (not all) can and do use their status as an excuse for not working and living on handouts and that winds people up. This is something that a family with both parents cannot do.
Reply:Single parents - be it through choice or fate- not only face the additional task of being the missing parent but also trying to 'do it all' on one (probably much smaller) wage.
I understand what Haz said about Father's Day cards - (why not grandad or uncle ? ) - mine used to make them for my dad.
I was a teenage mum but I was married. I became a single parent because HE left. I worked all hours under the sun to make sure I kept a roof over my kids' - heads.
I was awarded £1.50 per week per child by the courts -and told that I was fit/young enough to go to work myself - what a laugh !
After our divorce, he gave up proper work and claimed benefits and took me to court and out of my meagre 'woman's' wage was made to pay HIM a nominal maintenance amount !
I used to see him driving around in a new car,hearing stories about his holidays abroad - I was glad , really, that he didn't bother with the children - he is no role model .
Now, my girls have their kids - they have husbands/partners but always work - we don't claim benefits and don't qualify for (sub-standard) housing.
I only really had 2 rules:- 1= tell the truth at all times(sometimes scary!) and 2= no drugs
We are all OK and any expensive , modern 'things' they wanted they worked for them (baby-sitting etc)
Work hard, play hard and hold your head high !
Reply:where did you copy/paste this from?
a lot of the stuff there is relevant to non-single parents as well - all the new stuff that all modern parents are facing and the serious challenge of raising children. I have seen plenty of great parents and crap parents, whether they are single or not is irrelevant. single parents do cop it a bit from society and get judged more than others.
Reply:single parents have NOTHING to do with a child 'turning bad'.
this can happen cos the parents be it one or two being rubbish.
the bias against single parents is very real and it is just another 'bench mark' people use to make themselves feel good about their lot in life.
i have grown up without ever knowing my 'dad' in the1970's when i very much had to bear a stigma(sorting the library books out whilst the class made fathers day cards)
the attitude also existed within my own family.
my mum is and was a good decent hardworking woman.
she just picked an ******** and had unprotected sex.full stop.she is no deviant.
what bugs me now is other women turning on other women in this situation-there really is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women.
just for the record out of all my cousins (10 of us) I'm the only one educated to degree standard,the only one happily married,the only one living in a nice (ish!!) house,the only one who puts anything back into society.
so not a disaster...........
Reply:Sad to say, but most single parents aren't single because they are widowed.
Most are single because of a LACK of values to begin with.
For instance, all the little party girls from one or 2 parent homes who are allowed to run wild and go get pregnant at the ripe old age of 13, the others who just screw around, and all the guys who dump these girls upon finding out they are pregnant.
Most of these girls never change their ways and their party life style breeds children who grow up to be like them.
I have only met 2 single mothers in my entire life who made their children behave and treat them with respect.
One of them later married, but the fact is, the other 985 were too busy with their own life to really be much of a parent, even the stay at home welfare moms who dragged their kids through one bad and abusive relationship into the next.
You are right, but it takes change, and the job is only as easy as the example we are willing to set and even in a 2 parent home, both parents have to be on the same page.
Reply:I'd fight for them, what more can i say.
Reply:thanks for the advise Ms. Phil.
Reply:Having been a single parent B before I found a new partner I remember how hard it was. Unfortunatly there are a minority off Single Parents who do portray the majority of single parents in a very bad light.
Reply:Well my partner got the boot last week Barb so that makes me a single parent, actually we've been through this a thousand times, once for nearly a year, at the end of the day though I never saw myself as a single parent because he always saw the kids every couple of days and gave me money for them, the problems I felt I faced were getting them ready to go places with no help, and trying to ferry them to and from places when it wasn't his day to see them, (he has a car I don't drive), I also find it stressful that I'm the one who has to get up every morning with them and I never get a long lie etc, to be honest at the moment I don't know whats the worst idea, getting back together with him, and it'll all carry on the way it always has, or being on my own with 2 kids and 2 babies, I'm not the sort of person who gets daunted easily, I usually just get on with things regardless, but even I'll admit that's a scary thought!
Reply:The problem lies in the fact that single mothers are portrayed as young uneducated girls who've gotten pregnant at 14 so they can secure social benefits and free housing.
Whereas in truth most single mothers are from failed relationships where for whatever reason their partner and probable father of her children has left. I think until they image of the single mother is corrected these women will struggle to get the understanding and compassion they need to aid their plight.
I for one know that I couldn't cope with half the things some of these women have to put up with.
Reply:I recently got married after being a single mother of 3 boys. Not just the "Modern single parent", but all parents have to deal with most of the issues you raised. Do you think it will all be worth it or do you think you shouldn't keep trying? No matter what, you have to keep moving forward. Do the best you can. Of course it will all be worth it!!! These are the lives that we brought into this world and single or not we are responsible to make sure they grow up to be responsible productive members of society.
Reply:As a single parent, the toughest pressure on me comes from my own parents. Their disapproval, though they try to veil it, is something that's almost palpable.
However, whenever I see my baby boy, I forget about all these, although I must admit that I have my own doubts if what I did won't make life tough for him.
On the other hand, I get full support from my close friends and I'm lucky to have a lot of them. So I just do my best and have faith that everything will turn out well for me and my son.
Reply:I was raised by my mum alone, but put into care with dual parents. I am now a single parent myself.
I never had a problem being brought up by just my mum and it has its advantages and disadvantages. I prefer not to go into it as there were issues around my mum, however not related to her being a single parent and therefore irrelevant for here.
I am now a single parent and my son is healthy and happy. Every HV visit, I have been told I am coping and doing better than a lot of the parents she visits that are in their 30's and married.
I do not believe you need both parents, however it would make it easier on the parent. As long as the child is brought up with a loving parent and true care then the child can be just as healthy and normal as any other child.
I devote my entire life to my son and as a result he is perfect. I will never stop fighting for single parents to be treated and seen as equal to dual parent families.
Reply:Is this a question or a journal essay?
What's wrong? Your men left you after he hit it?
It will not be worth it in the long term. Your child will be a dreg on society. A bastard.
Hopefully he/she won't become a drug addict, or father or have a child his/herself until he/she is an adult. Hopefully, he/she won't become a teenage parent.
I would say, give him religion, but it's hopeless. There's nothing you can do as a single parent. The odds are against him/her.
Sorry.
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