Why are single people treated so poorly?

I really think single people including widowed and divorced people are in generally completely excluded from society. People are noticibly uncomfortable around them, and since I lost my wife, nobody even invites me anywhere and I don't think I should go and invite myself to spend time with someone's family.. And I went to many people's homes before she died. It's like everyone tells me to go find someone else. I've heard of many situations where a man loses his wife, and nobody spoke to him again until he was remarried. it's just plain wrong. Everyone just focuses on how busy they are. It doesn't take that much to include someone in your busy life. You can go "we're going to Walmart " want to come along? it's that easy. But instead single people are treated like they are garbage. In every way since my wife's death people have treated me like I am a piece of trash , and these same people called my house weekly.

Why are single people treated so poorly?
I think widowed and divorced people do have problems caused by the friends not keeping in touch.





I think that people do this not out of malice, but out of ignorance. They probably knew you as a couple and are afraid of the awkward feelings that the loss of the other person brings.





I understand that it can be difficult, but it sounds like you just have to find as many new friends as you can.
Reply:Most of the time the reason single people are excluded in such a manner is because most of the world is uncomfortable with dealing with death or divorce because it is a melancholy subject. Many couples dont want to drudge up feelings of despair or anger in the single party because they wont know how to act or what to say. Its not that single people are treated poorly, its just in certain situations, most of the population isnt emotionally intelligent enough to deal with it.
Reply:Some how I do not see that. There are far more single people these days than married so this may be a bit difficult. Perhaps they are uncomfortable with you because they have a hard time handling death and are unsure what to say. OR perhaps your own attitude is turning people away. Larger cities are more accommodating to singles as well so your geographic area may be influencing the society and their attitude as well.
Reply:The men may be insecure with you being around their wives. Nothing personal it's just that you are available. The wives are not going to entertain you for this reason also because they do not want to hear their husbands rant and rave over how they gave you a glass of water first, or how they laughed too long at your jokes. It is crazy but true. Join a singles group or a coffee house club. That way you can meet nice people and get out of the house. I hope this helps.
Reply:Why don't YOU take the initiative and invite someone to Walmart instead of waiting for an invitation?





It sounds like you are waiting for the phone to ring or someone to knock on the door.... you make the calls and start ringing doorbells... let your friends know you're ok.
Reply:As a single person, people get all bent out of shape when they can't get ahold of me. I'm busy. I have my own life to live. Sooner or later I'll catch up to them.
Reply:Greatest commercial ever! This will help anyone feelin' down! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5VafGNMcJ...
Reply:All it shows is that you had some pretty fake "friends" to begin with. But I agree with your overall point is that "family" people avoid people who are not in a relationship. I don't know exactly why it is happening, but it is a fact. In my case, it happens because wives and such tend to be extremely insecure when their significant others are in my presence knowing that I am single. (I am not single; my fiance is away for a very long time and I am waiting for him). But I don't consider them my friends anyway; they are just acquaintances that happen to be in my life. I have few very good true friends that are always by my side and on my side no matter what my relationship status is. I would say it all depends on the kind of people you consider to be your friends. But I agree, you will be more excluded from the society and its activities as long as you are single. It's just a fact of life.
Reply:I'm sorry for your loss. To be honest and to not sugar coat I don't believe what you say is to be true. I witnessed very close loves ones to me go through what you are explaining. You will have people that will maybe drift out of your life. To be clear they probably are mourning your loss like you. It affects couples to lose part of couple they did so much with. I'm a big believer that in order to have a life you have to plan your own party. You can't just sit back and look at every person that doesn't call you. Overall people don't do THAT much to warrant calling people all the time. They get busy working 5 - 6 day weeks and have 1 -2 days to rest and maybe get together with others but not always. So if your looking to do something. Make a plan. This goes for singles, widows, married couples that want to go out with friends for a change. I'm sure you are a good person, so don't take it so personally. Plus, I've never been asked to Walmart or on any errand for that matter for just company sake. Pick up the phone and put some things on your calendar so you have some things to look forward too!





Hope it works out.
Reply:It is extremely hard for widowed and divorced people-men or women. In a divorce the friends are usually torn, either his or hers. But with death people are normally uncomfortable-they don't know what to say or do.


Its very hard getting out and meeting new people. Where I live there are Senior Centers, Retired Senior Volunteer Programs, %26amp; Council on the Aging that help others get back into society and meeting new people.


Even younger divorced people can volunteer at different programs around their cities in order to meet people.


There have been men %26amp; women that have found each other through these programs and have since become very happy outgoing people.


As for people treating you like trash--have you called any of them, have you invited them into your home? Reach out, its hard, but I know you can do it. Pick up the phone and say "Hey Bob, I was going to throw some burgers on the grill would you and Mary and the kids join me." You will be surprised at the results.


Good luck and have fun and enjoy life again.
Reply:Single people as a whole aren't treated poorly, there're more single people in the world than there are married people ,however I do believe what you're telling me to be true in some situation , you just need to find out why people are treating you differently now, we all have reasons for what we do and sometimes they're good reasons and sometimes they're bad reasons , I would imagine there be at least a thousand reasons for why people do one thing , did you and your wife have any problems before ? did you treat your wife okay when she was alive ? did your friends like you and your wife equally ? are they blaming you for why she died ? answer some of these questions and think up any other questions you can come up with , If all answers okay , then maybe you're just too hard on yourself , maybe it's just you who's thinking they don't wanna do this and they don't like that , maybe they try to avoid seeing you in sorrow , you know it hurts some people to see another friend in sorrow , maybe you're too good looking and they're just looking out for their wives , and if that's the case , relax and take some time off , meet new women and you'll see , they'll be calling you back. hey don't be hard on yourself , keep on living.

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