Saturday, November 14, 2009

Single Pregnant Woman/Mothers?

Hello ladies. I hope your friday is going well. Well I will be 34 weeks pregnant tomorrow. I am a single and 25 years old pregnant with my first child ever..(meaning no miscarriages and not abortions) I couldnt be more excited to meet my little man. I do have a boyfriend of 4 years who is the father of our child. He couldnt be more excited to be a daddy either... My question for single mothers..how do you deal with being a single mother...me myself I have not intention on getting married anytime soon or if I will get married at all in my life time... I have never been the type of woman to want to get married. But I have always wanted children.. My friends and family do not understand why,but its my choice to not be married...Yes I have a full time job..a home..a car..insurance life..health..and dental for im very well off on taking care of my son..I just wanted to know any life stories or life lessons that you single mothers have. Share all the times you share with your child.

Single Pregnant Woman/Mothers?
First, I wanna say YOU'RE AWESOME!!! I got pregnant when I was 20 with my boyfried (at the time) of 3 years. My family (mom especially) was trying to pressure us into getting married, but to me, there was no reason to rush. I mean, as far as my religious background, "the sin had already occurred", so why go and get married just because I was pregnant. I was also told by my father (though I was 4.0 college student) that I had F'd up my life.....really what I needed to hear.





My boyfriend and I stayed together and ended up getting an apartment together.....and let me tell you....you really don't know someone until you live with them. Messy, messy, messy just doesn't say enough. But, we stuck it out, had our ups and downs, and had our beautiful....I mean handsome....baby boy.





2 1/2 years later......we eventually got married.....and had a very special "ringbearer" at our wedding.





GOOD LUCK.......Sounds like you'll do great
Reply:Check out the facts...


Sexual activity. In a study of 700 adolescents, researchers found that "compared to families with two natural parents living in the home, adolescents from single-parent families have been found to engage in greater and earlier sexual activity."


Source: Carol W. Metzler, et al. "The Social Context for Risky Sexual Behavior Among Adolescents," Journal of Behavioral Medicine 17 (1994).





Child Abuse. Researchers in Michigan determined that "49 percent of all child abuse cases are committed by single mothers."


Source: Joan Ditson and Sharon Shay, "A Study of Child Abuse in Lansing, Michigan," Child Abuse and Neglect, 8 (1984).





Fatherly influence. Children with fathers at home tend to do better in school, are less prone to depression and are more successful in relationships. Children from one-parent families achieve less and get into trouble more than children from two parent families.


Source: One Parent Families and Their Children: The School's Most Significant Minority, conducted by The Consortium for the Study of School Needs of Children from One Parent Families, co sponsored by the National Association of Elementary School Principals and the Institute for Development of Educational Activities, a division of the Charles F. Kettering Foundation





Disturbing news: Children of never-married mothers are more than twice as likely to have been treated for an emotional or behavioral problem.


Source: U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, National Center for Health Statistics, National Health Interview Survey


Worse to bad: Children in single-parent families tend to score lower on standardized tests and to receive lower grades in school. Children in single-parent families are nearly twice as likely to drop out of school as children from two-parent families.


Source: J.B. Stedman (et al.), "Dropping Out," Congressional Research Service Report No 88-417





Repeat, repeat: Nationally, 29.7 percent of children living with a never-married mother and 21.5 percent of children living with a divorced mother have repeated at least one grade in school, compared to 11.6 percent of children living with both biological parents.


Source: Debra Dawson, "Family Structure and Children's Well-Being," Journals of Marriage and Family, No. 53
Reply:Hi I'm a single mother of 4 and I'm not married me and my b/f have been together for 13 years and I really have no problem .


He helps me cook ,clean and he does his share of helping. I know people are always asking if we are gonna get married and maybe one day down the road but right now we are happy and we always will be. So you can be happy and a single parent. It just takes a little a more work at times. But we have our kids.
Reply:I was a single mother of 3 for 9 years. No one understood why I chose to be single either. I recently got married and it is soooo much harder than being single. When I was single it wasn't a challenge mainly because I had never been married. I made sure that I had "me" time. Every weekend, the children went out with their dad; who's my husband now. It's not hard at all. Others feel that way because they're married, religious, or beleive the stereotypes about single mothers. I know that you know that you're totally capable. I'm proud of you and wish you the best.
Reply:I think that if you have your s**t together (sounds like you do) then why complicate things by getting married.


As long as you're able to provide for your child and give them the best life possible then that's really all that matters.





Best of luck! I'm sure you'll be a Great Mom








WI MOM.


sometimes a mother is better off being single. Like my sister for instants. she could have married the father of her son but then he would of had a looser of a father living with him. instead she chose not to and her son is a great kid. I think kids should have male and female roll models in there life but it doesn't mean they have to be the parents. My nephew has three uncles that he can look up to which helps him.





As long as you are a good parent it doesn't matter weather your single, married, gay or straight.
Reply:I'd like to comment on WI Mom.... but I can only think of one word, and it will get me a violation.





You sound prepared. My advise is to maintain a healthy relationship with the dad, even if you split up, because it will make a HUGE difference in the kids life long-term. Don't ever forget that he's your first job, and your career comes second. Showing up for school assemblies is more important than impressing the boss, to your son at least.





You can never hug, kiss, or cuddle enough, and he can't hear how much you love, appreciate, respect and adore him too many time. Especially if it's ever just you, because then he needs to hear it double.





You have put yourself in as good a position to handle this wonderful job of motherhood as possible. Marriage is no guarantee of a better environment for the child. Statistics are just numbers.





Good luck and congrats!


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