Single parents out there.....?

Here is a question for single parents out there. I am a single parent of a two year old and don't know what to do. Everytime I spend money on me I feel guilty, everytime I go somewhere without him I feel guilty, I want to go to law school and become a lawyer and I feel guilty. He is well cared for and loved and has more than he knows what to do with. I feel guilty because I want to sacrafice time now when he is young so that I can ensure a better future and living environment than I can give him now. As a single parent how do you get over the guilt that you are totally messing up things when you work a full time job? I was raised by a single parent that worked two jobs just to make ends meet and I don't want to have to do that with him. That is why I want to go to school now and get a better job so that he can enjoy it later. How do you juggle a 9-5 job and the guilt that comes along with it? Do you think he would be worse off if I was a lawyer rather than home all day long?

Single parents out there.....?
That is normal. You are a loving caring parent that wants the best. I am the same way and I have some friends that are single parents. There is nothing wrong with that. I think it's because we are the only one they have to rely on. It is not an easy task, just remember you are making that decision to better your child's life and your's and give them what you couldn't . As far as buying things for yourself, that is normal too. It's ok for you to do things for you. It shows you care, it would be different if it didn't bother you. I used to feel bad even if I'd take extra time to have a bubble bath.
Reply:I UNDERSTAND WHERE YOUR COMING FROM, WHEN MY


CHILD IS AT SCHOOL AND MY OTHER DAUGHTER COMES


PICKS ME UP FOR LUNCH, I FEEL QUILTY BECAUSE SHE IS


MY YOUNGEST AND SHE NOT WITH ME. I WOULD RATHER


BY HER SOMETHING THEN MYSELF OR WHEN SHE IS SICK AND DOESN'T WANT TO EAT, I DON'T WANT TO EAT. BUT


FOR YOUR QUESTION, WE AS PARENTS HAVE TO DO WHAT IT TAKES TO CARE OUR CHILDREN. SINCE


HE IS WELL TAKEN CARE OF ,THEN GO FOR WHAT YOU WANT TO DO AND GET IT OVER AND DONE WITH. THIS WAY WHEN HE IS OLDER, ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS GO TO WORK COME HOME TO YOUR CHILD. WHY BECAUSE YOU


ALREADY HAVE TAKEN CARE OF THE SCHOOL BUSINESS.


SO DON'T WORRY GO TAKE OF WHAT EVER NEEDS TO


BE DONE, OTHER WISE YOU'LL REGRET IT LATER DOWN


THE ROAD. GOOD LUCK!! YOUR STILL YOUNG, GO FOR


IT.
Reply:I know EXACTLY how you feel, i did the same thing. My daughter is only 15 months old but I started school when she was about 4 months old. Only for Legal Office Admin. But plan on returning to school in March. I considered going to school while she is young. I feel guilty everytime i even go to the grocery store without her. I havent been out on my own since she was born. My time goes to her and school, with working also. Dont let the guilt set you back on your education, education is important and if you do it and he sees that you are doing it for him even though he is only two. You will be able to see him at night, tuck him in and give him a bath. Time is precious, but also he is too.
Reply:I am also a single mother - happily engaged now - but raised my kids alone for 8 years. My advice to you is to stop feeling guilty. #1 you have every right to spend money on yourself as long as your son has what he needs/wants to your satisfaction. Don't ever forget about you a little now and then. You deserve it. #2 Don't feel guilty about bettering your family and the life to give your son. Make sure he is cared for by someone you love and trust. My boys were watched by my mother, and she raised me well, so I had no worries there. Being a lawyer can be very demanding and the schooling can be grueling too. But if you have the means to attend law school and someone to care for your child while you're there - DO IT. I didn't have the means to go to school and have never made it to college. If I had that choice I would've taken it. Do not ever let anyone talk you out of bettering the future of your family. You sound like a great mother with a very loving forethought of your child. I would give you a big hug for that if you were in front of me. So many children aren't so well loved and taken care of. Rather than feel guilty I would stand up right now and give yourself a round of applause. Sounds corny, but I'm serious. Good for you mom!!!!


Best of luck to you and your baby, he's very lucky to have you by the sounds of this!
Reply:You shouldnt feel guilty. You are clearly a loving mother that wants the best for their child.





The best way to look at it is this.....when your child gets older they are going to come under a lot of peer pressure for the latest toys, sports equipment etc. They want computers, designer clothes.....Your investment into a career now will help you better to pay for the increased financial responsibility as your child gets older.
Reply:you have to channel the guil to positive energy and understand that your life is just one giant sacrifice.


stop feeling guilty and do what you need to do for the future of your child and you as you are a family.


The Law school idea sounds the best as you may need to sacrifice now in order to provide a sound future for you that you will be able to provide a sound future for your child.


Stop procrastinating (your feelings of guilt) and get off your booty NOW
Reply:You will always feel guilty until the child turn 18.Go ahead and go to law school while the child is young.that way when he or she gets older you will still have quality time to spend and be able to afford all the things a child/teenager wants good luck.I put off going to college and I never went back,still wish I would have .
Reply:Don't feel guilty. Children are quite resilient.I think it's great that you want to go to school to provide a better life for him. Later when you become a lawyer you can set aside time just for him. When he gets older he will understand and appreciate the sacrifices you made for him.Remember it's not the quantity but the quality of time you spend.
Reply:you need to be happy to show your child how to be happy.


how can an unhappy mother raise a happy child?


the child needs to know you'll do what it takes to make yourself happy.


how would you feel if you were like 7 years old and knew that your mom wasn't happy (without even knowing why). what would you do? anything it took to make her happy - right? if a 7 year old can do it for you , why won't you do it for yourself?





your mom worked 2 jobs to make ends meet. do you know how much she loved you? looking back on her life now, would she have changed anything? (like her education) what did she want for you? i can tell you. she wanted you to have an education and to be happy.
Reply:we are almost in the same boat... my son i will be a year old in a couple weeks... i also am a single mom and i work 3 jobs and go to school full time.. the way i see it... i am sacrificing a lot... but in a year i will be making 60 dollars an hour not 15... so i can see him alot more... its hard... very hard.. i cry alot wondering the same thing... if i should just quit everything and get on welfare... but my dignity sais no, work hard, love my son, and get better for our future.. i make it a point to spend a few hours every day with him... good solid bonding time... the guilt is always there every single time i leave him... still... but i tell myself, i am out there making our life better, i am not going out every night or leaving him with people who mis-teat him... and u need time to ur self or u will go crazy... if ur not happy, if ur needs aren't met, then its hard to meet ur childs needs appropriately... email me if u have any specific questions....